On the weekend of the 21th October, the second part of the Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training, took place at the Northern Light Studio. I felt so much gratefulness and so much wonder, for how I ended up in that place, on this path of life, with these amazing people. I’m overwhelmed with awe, of what participating in a group energy, does to your being. Thus, today I want to talk to you about the relationship between ourself and others. About the lessons I learned and the path we are all on. Today I want to talk about belonging, about humanities basic need to belong (even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself).
We humans, don’t do well alone. And this is coming from someone that thought that moving to the middle of nowhere would bring me the perfect environment for happiness. So, this is a story of someone who met herself, so maybe you can do so too.
Maybe you too, have some social anxiety? Maybe even being around friends and family requires precious energy from you? Do you need a lot of time to recharge? Why? Have you asked yourself this question? Is it just because ‘you are this way’? Or do you put the blame on the other people, on the world even? Isn’t that easy, to dislike people? To pull away from the bad world and make yourself a safe island? Have you ever dug deep into yourself to why you feel this way?
Maybe the reason others are leaving you feeling drained, is because you are afraid to be authentic. Maybe you are putting so much energy in keeping a up a mask or a shell or towards containing yourself, that it is draining you from all your energy. And I get it, sometimes the pain of that is less than the pain of rejection. It is also incredibly self-consumed. If you peel away some layers, you could see that all your focus lies on yourself. And that’s ok, you are allowed this experience, nothing is wrong with you. However, are you brave enough to walk towards the other end of the spectrum?
I used this metaphor before and I’ll do it again: You can’t heal a fear of height by staying on the ground.
You can’t heal the relation you have towards interacting with other people, by withdrawing yourself from the world. The lesson I so dearly learned.
The way forward is through. Lean into all interactions you have. Why do you feel like you can’t be yourself in any particular situation? What do you fear will happen? In my experience, there is this fear present, fear to not belong with the other. Humanities basic need, to belong and feel ‘home’ with other. This is true even though you told yourself you don’t need anyone, because that is less painful than admitting that you don’t belong.
But don’t try to force yourself in taking of your masks. Observe and learn about yourself. Try to understand yourself. Consciously put yourself out there, keep testing your boundaries with ‘other’. This outward energy of curiosity and understanding, is going to reflect back eventually.
The greatest reward of all, finding people like you. People you can relate too. People who have similar experiences, who think in similar way and use the art of perception in forms you can understand.
I don’t want to call it ‘healing social anxiety’, because that implies that there is something wrong. But I do want to reach people who are where I was once was. Please don’t hide, don’t retreat, you are beautiful! I know it is painful and so, so very energy depleting, but be curious, be courageous and put yourself out there! Re-explore and learn about relationships!
Amazing, like-minded people just keep on streaming into my life these past few years. Exponentially. I felt so much gratitude for the group of people I ended up in, when choosing to do the Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training at Northern Light this year. I gained a new understanding in what group energy does and why it can be so spiritualizing.
I’m going to use a metaphor, inspired by my background in geology. Imagine a single drop of water in the soil. The way in which and the speed by which this drop of water is going to move, is very much depended on the type of soil or terrain it finds itself in. It might just sit there on the rock, or it might move slowly through sand. Imagine this drop of water finding its way into a stream or river. Do you see how it’s moving speed increases? Do you see how a river can carf its way through rock, eroding the landscape and scape continents?
Our energy is very much determined by our identifications and our boundaries, slowly flowing on the ways of life. But then there comes a point on this journey, where water collects itself, the laws of the landscape make it so. Likeminded souls, meeting and flowing together. Suddenly, our identifications don’t matter anymore, they are shared by the group. Together we are able to carve through anything. We rise above ourself. Our joined stream of consciousness carves through all our boundaries and we touch what lies beyond. We are able to see past ourself and into the shared. Do you see the power in this?
In this group of people, we share so much similar feelings and experiences. All of us have had spiritual encounters or extreme happenings. When shared by a group, these things are suddenly not so ‘special’ anymore. They don’t identify you anymore, because they are shared. The group is such an aid in looking past the ego, past the spiritual ego even. It doesn’t matter anymore!
How freeing! How humbling! How little do we know! We rise beyond our personal experience and touch what lies beneath.